my Christmas gift to you…

For those guys out there…  I’d like to help you all become better men and husbands, so here’s my Christmas gift to you…  I’m going to pass onto you the SINGLE BIGGEST tip I can give you to help you have a VERY happy Christmas, and it involves something you can do for your wives.

 

Trust me on this…  Take me at my word and see if this is not true…

 

This tip, if you follow it, will bring a huge smile to your wife on Christmas Day, as well as making you a very popular guy.

 

This is it…  Memorize it, and do it.  I’m deadly serious…

 

*** Go out and buy your wife something really nice…  By nice, I mean something that you would have bought her before you got married to her when you were still trying to impress her.  By nice, I mean something that is probably more expensive than $100, is probably not made out of plastic, and might even glitter a little…

 

OK…  Now pay special attention to these TWO important points…

 

*** Firstly…  Make sure she does NOT (under ANY circumstances) know what this gift is.  DO NOT ask her to choose something for herself (HUGE MISTAKE!), do not discuss this with her, do not ask her advice…  Trust me on this.  This must be totally unknown to her.  Surprise is key.

 

*** Secondly…  Under NO circumstances make this a “practical” gift.  Women do NOT enjoy “practical” gifts because if they really wanted a dishwasher they would make you go get one, and getting one for Christmas is not going to make them smile.  Just trust me on this.  I’ve made this mistake several times, and I remember them well.  DO NOT follow in my footsteps.  Jewellery and other “impractical” items are perfect.  The kind of gift I’m talking about is the kind of thing they probably wouldn’t buy for themselves.  In fact, I’ll be honest and say that any gift that seems to have a practical use of any kind is pretty much scratched right off my list straight up.  Anything that plugs in and requires power or batteries is off the list.  Learn from me on this.

 

One other thing…  If your wife says that she really isn’t expecting anything and doesn’t want anything big, etc….  IGNORE this completely.  Be a man and go beyond her expectations.  If she isn’t expecting much from you, then you have ground to make up…

 

This Christmas, I have a totally impractical gift that my wife knows nothing about waiting for her.  It is of a value that suggests my sense of value for her, and she is going to be very excited on Christmas Day.  I hope you learn from my stupid mistakes and follow my advice.  This is my gift to you – you will not be disappointed if you follow my advice closely.

 

So, that’s it.  My gift to you…

 

M.

 

*** PS:  if you have already purchased a gift that a) your wife knows about, b) is practical, and c) is cheap, then you have a few days to fix this problem or regret your error. Do so immediately.

 

*** PPS: This advice works even better for birthdays.  Try it and see your fortunes grow…  :-)

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 19th, 2007 at 5:16 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can feed this entry. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

8 Responses

  1. Ah wise one …. you are walking the path that brings much joy.

    I also try to avoid gifts that anyone else in the family will use. Buying something cycling related for my non-cycling wife would probably not be a good move. :)

    Rodney Olsen - December 19th, 2007 at 8:02 pm

  2. Mark, you get more like that groveller Mark Newcombe every day. Are you trying to tell me that my wife won’t appreciate the matching pot mitts that are already wrapped and under the tree. They weren’t cheap as far as pot mitts go, and really are nice. I have complete confidence that Pauline will laugh joyfully when she opens them. If she arrives at church on Christmas Day without me, you’ll know I was wrong.

    Rick - December 19th, 2007 at 10:51 pm

  3. Ok, I’m just thinking you guys had better hit the shops… Quickly!

    ob1 - December 19th, 2007 at 11:08 pm

  4. “This must be totally unknown to her. Surprise is key.”

    Let’s just hope she doesn’t read your blog then :P

    Baggas - December 20th, 2007 at 8:42 am

  5. Bagga’s, Thats what I was thinking…..

    Shall I take this beer fridge back then?

    Mark E - December 20th, 2007 at 9:33 am

  6. no… keep the beer fridge. just go get her a gift… :-)

    ob1 - December 20th, 2007 at 11:17 am

  7. I actually enjoy making the revelation that there is something coming, then watching all the twisting and turning to get me to reveal what it is – total resistance ramps up the vibe considerably!!!

    Barry. - December 20th, 2007 at 1:23 pm

  8. NICE! now *that’s* what I’m talkin’ about…

    ob1 - December 20th, 2007 at 1:30 pm